16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize