At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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