i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I pour the whiskey from now on
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
