You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
