My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
