Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
