In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
