I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
