Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
