I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
