i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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