either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
