Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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