i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
