Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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