my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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