update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
