terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
