that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
