dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
