I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize