wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
time to smoke my breakfast
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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