why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize