I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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