if you like me you must not know who I am
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
