She just used a chaser for red wine.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize