I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry about my life...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
