Dual....:-)
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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