This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
