her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize