before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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