those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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