if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
