He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have already put on my inside pants.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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