Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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