Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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