Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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