what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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