Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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