no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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