sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
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She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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