the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
