My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she looked like the before picture.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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