You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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