so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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