i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize