btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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