She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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