do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize