You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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