mondays should just be called national damage control day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
