I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize