Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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