i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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