some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
