Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
