her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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