that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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