you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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